Rules for living with Transformers
by Mera Arem Rema
Summary: Rules to help you get along with both Autobots and Decepticons, It'a not as easy as you think. (Rating may change but for now it's M)
1. Chapter 1

ok_ so this is some random rules Arem and I come up with, hope it brings ya a laugh. Oh &** we don't own transformers or intend this for offence**. -_ Mera

_this is a mix between G1 & transformers Prime. -Rema_

* * *

**Rule #1:Do not give Arem** **sugar.(Mera)**

Optimus gave Arem sugar even after being warned. -_-

Megatron warned him, Thundercracker warned him, Skywarp, Starscream,

Soundwave, AND the cassettes warned him not to!

so Arem when on a sugar high rampage

and destroyed half the Arc. -_-

so I got a lecture from Prowl

while Jazz, Ironhide, Wheeljack, and Ratchet tried to catch her.

don't give me that look Prowl! you were warned this would happen!

**Rule #2: SPANGLISH IS A LANGUAGE!(Arem)**

Arem: Spanglish is a language!

Mera: I thought this was my thing.

Arem: TO bad Chica! *Rages in Spanglish*

Megatron: Is she alright?

Mera: When has Arem ever been alright?

Megatron: You have a point.

Arem: HEY!

Megatron and Mera: *walk off with Arem following*

**Rule #3: Do not speak Spanish to Arem.(Rema)**

so he startedspeaking Spanish to us

Mera and I gave him funny looks and walked away

Arem started freaking out.

Rumble hid behind _Mera, _he's taller than her by a lot

it was funny.

**Rule #4: Disney movies are not allowed on either base.(Mera)**

we were watching some Disney movie, I don't remember which one.

Prowl walked in and saw what we were watching, he glitched

Ratchet was not happy, he also spoke with Optimus who talked with Megatron

so yea no more Disney movies.

**Rule #5: Never touch The Books. (Arem)**

Frenzy: what are the books?

Arem: The Books! Capital letters, bro. Oh, and they are where all our random ideas and stories go so we don't forget them.

Rema: sis, almost killed someone for touching it.

Arem: it says on the cover "the hounds of hell and death will look pleasant compared to what I'll do to you if you touch this" on the cover, who is stupid enough to touch that!( frenzy and rumble slowly go pale as they read the cover of the little black book they found as Arem talks)

Mera: (smirks evilly as she watches the twins pale behind Arem)

Arem: ( turns around and sees what the twins are holding) -in a strangely calm voice-frenzy, rumble(looks up with evil eyes and creepy smile) run.

( the twins run faster then Starscream can achieve moch five, but they took the book with them so Arem runs after them screaming bloody murder. Rema and Mera laugh as they hear the twins girly screams and megaton just sighs and shakes his head.)

**Rule #6: Never touch Mera's gaming stuff. (Rema)**

Miko: What are gaming materials?

Rema: Dice, some books, a special pencil, and a ton of paper.

Arem: it's hard to miss she keeps in in a locked chest with a warning label on it .

(jack walks in with a chest)

Skywarp: it says "DO NOT TOUCH! by the time I'm done with you being killed slowly with a dull rusty butter knife will seem pleasant."

(Jack goes pale as he reads)

Rumble: Hey Soundwave! get ready to bury a body!

Mera: Hey have any of you seen...(stares at Jack, shifts into a weregeek) .

(Jack drops chest and runs, Mera hums and counts to 5 before chasing)

**Rule #7: Using "Found" explosives is not allowed. (Mera)**

I hate grasshoppers and the insectacons(g1) came to the Nemesis.

kickback scared me so I kinda sorta blew him up...repeatedly...

Optimus: *glares*

Mera: don't give me that look! Megatron let me & I don't answer to you!

Arem: does that mean made explosives are ok?

Megatron: No. just don't use explosives at all.

Arem: well frag, party pooper. *sticks toung out*

**Rule #8: do not get Arem wet or give her anything hot.(mera)**

Arem: Hey!

Mera: You hurt yourself when you have anything hot.

Rumble: don't forget she flip out when you get her wet, last time she shocked 'Screamer.

Mera: I know, he was not happy.

Frenzy: but it was funny.

Mera: I plead the fifth.

**Rule #9: Ultra magnus is not to be used for target practice. (Mera)**

Arem: Scrap! *cussing in cybertronian*

Mera: Anyway, he started lecturing us and we got bored.

Rema: Rumble gave us weapons! yea it didn't go so good for Ultra magnus.

**Rule#10: do not kick Ravage.(mera)**

Miko kicked Ravage while he was sleeping

Not only was he chasing her but Arem and Rema were too

Soundwave is letting Lazerbeak and Buzzsaw record it

I am seting traps.

**Rule # 11:Do not get Arem wet. (mera)**

Arem is scared of water(explain later)

she was also very muddy.

Megatron tried to get her to take a bath

she shifted into a weregeek(explain later) and failed at scratching him. she then jumped over Rema and me

we are getting a bath -_-

**Rule # 12: WHatever it is it's not Rema's falt.(Mera)**

Rema: *runs past* I DIDN"T DO IT!

Mera: What?

*Hears explosion and shill scream*

Arem: was that Starscream?

*Starscream walks past with blast residue on him*

**Rule #13: Do not help Skywarp with pranks.(Mera)**

Skywarp wanted help

so I helped him set something up

I didn't know it was a bucket full of neon pink paint.

I was lectured for 4 hours

I WILL get pack back 'warp -_-

**Rule #14: do not starve Arem.(Mera)**

we were sent to the Arc because the other base was under repairs.

we were hungrey and Arem was asleep.

when she woke up there was no food

she did something to Jack and now he says he is a piece of meat

He is curled up in a corner.

*Jack walks over and clings to Mera*

Mera: Arcee! alittle Help, He's clinging to me!

**Rule#15: Do not pull the tail!(Mera)**

Arem was half shifted(we still don't know how she does that), meaning she had ears and a tail,

Miko had never seen that before

so she pulled Arem's tail to see if it was real.

Arem has never been so pissed, she chased Miko for three hours.

Megatron has never laughed so hard in his life

poor bulkhead tried to catch them.

Rema tried to help Miko and I am recording everything via Rumble asked me to.

So yea, this should make good black mail material.

* * *

**Note time! ok Arem rema and Mera are weregeeks, Big black cat like creature with pure yellow eyes. their guardians are Mergatron & Thundercracker: Arem, Soundwave, cassets, Skywarp: Mera, & Starscream: Rema. for more on weregeeks go to & i am working on a story currently with these characters in it. Arem's fear of water will be explained in it, the next chapters won't be quite as long as this one. well comments, concerns, cookies, Read and Review please. the characters from TFP that are in this story are Jack, Miko, Raf, Fowler, June, Arcee, & Bulkhead. ideas are welcome.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Skywarp: say it.**

**Arem: Never!**

**Mera: Ok we don't own Transformers or intend to offend.**

**Rule # 16: Arem is not allowed to have any pointy stick thingyies. (Mera) **

It's just a bad idea, she tries to direct as in music people not an army.

She can't hold onto anything to save her life.

So she was "directing" in the command center

And every one was laughing at her and Rema, who was dancing

And then the metal stick thingy flew

It hit Megatron in the optic.

I was gone, Arem ran for her life, and Rema fell on the ground laughing

She was incapacitated for about ten minutes. -_-

**Rule #17: Never remind Arem she's underwater! (Hook & Ratchet)**

Sideswip and Sunstreaker asked if Arem liked water

She said no so they pointed out she was _underwater_.

They were in med bay for a month! Now if you'll excuse me….

MERA!

I REGRET NOTHING! *runs away* SOUNDWAVE! *waves arms wildly* HELP!

**Rule #18: If Arem starts talking in third person and carrying very pointy sharp objects, run for your life! (Mera)**

If Arem starts talking in third person just run, if she has a weapon run faster.

She put six Autobots through a wall when she started that.

They attacked Rema though so they deserved it.

OPtimus: they didn't mean to.

Don't care!

**Rule # 19: Human males are no longer allowed on the nemesis, except Jack, Raf, and other Autobot humans (Soundwave)**

Rumble: Arem brought some guys over, it didn't go well.

Frenzy: that's an understatement

Mera: Do you even know what that means?

Frenzy:…..Shut up!

Mera: Make me!

Soundwave: Enough.

Rumble: short version is the guys she invited caused a big mess, when they went into medbay and started "exploring" and then they were chased out by Ravage.

**Rule # 20: DO not leave the girls alone with human baby sitters (starscream)**

We had to go on a energon raid.

So we left them with a human babysitter

We don't know _what _happened.

Because the girls won't tell us and none of us want to look at the tapes.

When we came back the human was hog-tied to the ceiling,

Arem had a bat and was using him as a piñata,

Rema was dancing around like a psychopath, and Mera was sitting off to the side with popcorn.

**Rule #21: Do not give Arem a lot of peanut butter.(Mera)**

Some one thought it would be funny *Glares at Sunstreaker and Sideswipe*

To give Arem a entire jar of peanut butter…-_-

She spent the next several hours drinking water.

The spoon was stuck in her mouth to, still don't know how that happened.

So now Rema and I are waiting for someone to come pick them up from the con's brig.

**Rule #22: Do not say 'it can't get any worse'. (Mera & Arem)**

Mera: Rema likes to say _that_ when things go bad.

Arem: and then it always gets _worse ALWAYS!_

Mera: calm sister, calm go torment Megatron.

Arem: SWEET! Megs!

Megatron: I hate it when she calls me that.

**Rule # 23: Do not bring your boyfriend home. (Mera)**

Rema brought home her boyfriend.

Starscream was not pleased.

He was trying to kill him with the excuse of "playing tag"

With holes in the Nemesis, he had to repair them the next day.

Rema: Mera was no help! She was chasing him with a quarter staff!

Arem was dying on the floor and Rema looked like she was trying to decide between dying of laughter or embarrassment.

**Rule #24: Do not poke Mera's nose. (Arem)**

Mera gets really gilched off when you poke her nose.

The only one who can get away with it is me and that's only 'cuz I run really fast.

The last time someone poked her nose they were in medbay for a week!

They said she looked harmless and asked what such a sweet girl could do to them

We found him welded to a wall beat to the pit and back.

**Rule #25: Puppy eyes work even on Decepticons. (Rema, Arem, Mera) **

Starscream said he wasn't affected by puppy eyes.

He was right Me(mera) and Arem have almost no effect he can tell us no

He can't tell Rema no when she gives him puppy eyes.

He learned quickly that when all three of us give puppy eyes even Megatron

Can't say no.

We asked Megatron if we could get frappachinos

He sent us to the Arc, there's a giant hole now and Red alert won't come near us.

We don't know what happened!


	3. Chapter 3

**Skywarp: *holding Arem upside down* SAY IT! **

**Arem: Never! Dame this computer to HELL!**

**Skywarp; *utterly confused look* What?**

**Mera: AREM! POLITE LANUAGE! DON"T OFFEND THE READERS!**

**Arem: *rants about how she can't talk about hell without saying hell* **

**Thundercracker: Mera say the Disclaimer so we can move on.**

**Mera: Ok we don't own Transformers or intend to offend.**

**Rule # 26: Do not glomp Prowl. (Rema)**

*Arem runs by being chased by Ratchet*

Mera: Arem! Why are you being chased by Ratchet?

Arem: I don't know!

Rema: she glomped Prowl and he glitched, he's still in medbay….

Arem: MEEERAAA! HEEELP!

Mera: nope!

Rema: *camera*

Mera: what are you doing?

Rema: I has a camera!

**Rule# 27: the girls are cats, you don't need to do 'experiments' to figure that out. (Thundercracker)**

Knock out thought that laser pointers and feather toys would be a good way to see if the girls are like cats.

It worked, now Arem, Mera, and Rema are all in a fit.

Mera is trying to climb a wall to get a feather toy.

Arem is currently trying to get Megatron's hand out of her face; he saw toys and covered her face.

And Rema is *Wham!* running into a wall. So who's actually typing this?

Rumble: I love my job!

**Rule# 28: do not try to correct Arem on her nicknames for people. (Mera)**

Arem calls Megatron Megsy, we don't know why.

Megatron: I still hate it when she calls me that.

Mera: That's why it's a rule! So you don't kill her, shoot at her, lock her in a dark room, need I go on?

Megatron: No, is this why they call you Gin?

Mera: no this is! *give creepy Gin smile*

Megatron: is this why they call you mother?

Mera: yes!

Arem: he got it in two!

Rema: that's faster than Starscream.

Starscream: I still don't get it.

**Rule # 29: it is mandatory to meow at Black sliver(Remmy) when you first see him. (Arem)**

I don't know _how_ this started.

We just meowed at him and then everyone else joined in.

It is now a rule to meow at him when you first see him.

That's the only reason he's still allowed on the Nemesis.

**Rule #30: clowns are evil, don't argue with Arem on this. (Mera)**

Clowns are just evil, that's all there is to it.

Arem and I hate clowns.

Rema thinks it's hilarious so do half the Autobots

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe like to scare the living pit out of us…

That's ok, Arem is going to get some horror movies.

**Rule # 31: Don't give the Arem a map, She'll just get even more lost. (Arem, Rema, Mera)**

Mera: we find things by landmarks and sent!

Rema: if you give us a map we will get horribly lost.

Arem: *holding map upside-down* why is the control room on the bottom floor?

Mera: you're holding it upside down sis.

Arem: ohhh.

**Rule # 32: When Ratchet throws a wrench at you, do not duck. (Mera)**

Ratchet was mad at Sunstreaker And sideswipe, so he threw a wrench

The twins ducked and it hit me…. -_-

So I took the wrench and chased them around the Arc

Red alert glitched…six times…

Then he said something about cats with weapons.

He scares me sometimes.

**Rule #33: do not mock Optimus; he will give you the look. (Arem)**

I was blamed for making Red Alert glitch

So I got a lecture and was bored

So I started mocking Optimus..Megatron thought it was funny

Optimus gave me _"THE LOOK"_ and all the sudden I felt very guilty

FOR SOMETHING I DIDN"T DO!

**Rule #34: if you're going to give Arem a bath don't say "bath time". (Jazz)**

I'm sure something like this has come up before.

Arem needed a bath, Mirage and Ironhide were talking and 'bath time' came up.

Arem hit the roof….. and several bots when she ran….

We still haven't found her.

*sees Mera walk by humming 'a hunting we will go'*

Arem: OH MY GOD NO!

I am very concerened.

** Rule #35: when the girls are in their little space and are doing something DON"T BOTHER THEM! (Skywarp)**

Mera was in her own little space reading or something, she had made a little circle of her stuff.

Miko started messing with her stuff, moving a book or a piece of paper or trying to

Mera asked her to stop….. Six times

The seventh time Miko did it Mera told her to stop

She didn't, Mera growled at her, when she continued she yelled at her

'stop or I will lock you on a small dark room for a week!'

We still haven't found Miko…

Arem: It hasn't been a week yet, so don't worry.

I'm worried.

* * *

**Hi! we hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**ok any ideas for future rules are welcome **

**Arem: please our brains are slowly turning to mush! cute things are evil!**

**anyway till next time when we decide to let the world know we still live!**


End file.
